Things don't always go as planned!...

Hi. I'm unsure how many of you will read this but I'm writing it as more of a therapeutic thing if anything.

So the last time I posted it was the day before my first day at school, or first day in my new job as it were. Oh how I raise my eyebrow now when I think about how excited I was and all that hope I had that I'd have a better time in teaching than in my previous job!

Fresh start

My first day was actually quite nice to be honest. Sure I felt a bit awkward and a bit of a fish out of water but the staff were nice and the kids were adorable. I mentioned in my last post that this new job was a 4 day week. So I looked forward to Thursday starting my weekend.

It was great to have Friday off

I did school work the entire day. "I just need to get ahead? It won't always be like this, right?"

Silver lining I got to escape the school work for an hour or so to do something towards my business. The main reason I went part-time!

I had the weekend off

I worked hard to learn the new systems and to get "ahead".

By week 2 I had learnt that I needed to get up at 5am every morning to do school work before getting into school for around 7am! To then set up the environment entirely on my own, resource 3 teaching groups of 13 kids each, perhaps whilst juggling and balancing on one leg?! To leave around 5:30pm for nothing more than a change of scene to then carry on with school work.

I am superhuman

Then Monday, of just week 3, happened. Do you ever wish that some days you could rewind and maybe just start over?

By 10.30am I experienced what I believe to be my first panic attack. If you've had one you'll relate. If you haven't, I hope you never have to relate!
I calmed down after locking myself in the toilets and eventually calling for my TAs (teaching assistants).

It won't happen again

At dinnertime I found myself stuck in Morrison's cafe, unable to pull myself together. I couldn't go back. After panicking and ringing my Dad (who was in Northampton working- far away from my home) he managed to calm me down a bit and made me get in touch with my headteacher, of whom coaxed me back to school with a cuppa!

He was brill I have to say and he planned for me to get some support from my leader. "It'll be ok. I'll get some help and it'll all be fine".

I drew a line under Monday.

Tomorrow would be better

Tuesday dinner I had panic attack number 3. I realised at this point that I could not control when they were happening. This scared me. "What if it feeds into other parts of my life? My business? How can I manage a big team if I panic all the time? Will it destroy my confidence?"

Unfortunately, it wasn't received as sympathetically this time around and I was made to go back in and 'teach' in this state. I was crying, my skin blotchy and red and I could hardly catch my breath. Those poor little 3 year olds, a little scared if anything, all staring at me. I do not know how I got through it! I really don't.

After that I met with my headteacher again. Wednesday morning I got up at 5am. Not to get on top of the endless workload, but to write my letter of resignation.

I left school and my job with immediate effect that evening.

I regret it

Quite honestly it's the best choice I've ever made. My only regret is that I didn't leave on the Monday!

Sure, it didn't go as I had hoped and planned for but I guess that's life right?!

The good news is I'm well and truly on the mend and I haven't had anymore 'full on' attacks. There's still a little flutter of anxiety there occasionally which I'm working on, but overall I'm feeling so much relief and happiness.

As for work, my business is BOOMING! I'm going for a position in the marketing plan this month so it's all go. LOVE LOVE LOVE it!At least that is making me smile!...

As for teaching. I still do it in the form of supply teaching but I don't think the job as a whole package is for me, at least for now anyway!

Being my own boss is brilliant. Everyday feels like a weekend! I choose when I want to get up. No horrible Sunday night feelings. No set hours. And I'm now drinking wine on a Monday night! Everyday's a school day

Sunday thoughts

As I am writing this I am watching the amazing 'Fringe' series on Netflix. I discovered it just before Christmas and I've been hooked ever since! If you're into your sci-fi gory futuristic genres then it might be worth a watch :)

I'm actually doing everything I can in order to tame my excitement. Even as I type I feel so excited and have butterflies. Why? This week is a very big week, as it is for a fair few 3 year olds across the country. It's my first day at school!

It's funny because you'd normally only have to start school once or twice in your lifetime, at primary and then secondary, but as a teacher it happens a few times more!

Starting a new job is a big thing for anyone. No one likes being the newbie. Getting lost. Repeatedly asking people's names that you can't seem to remember. Feeling a bit awkward. Overwhelmed...But the good news is you only have that one first day. And chances are you weren't as hopeless and you'd imagined. 

Today hasn't been a bad day. It's been rather lazy, granted. Yes I'm still in my pjs, my hair needs watching and I've been considering the treadmill since waking up...but it has been rather productive in other senses. 

I sent my business messages and chatted to a team member. I then found a new contact that wanted a call (via my website. www.ellie.flp.com if you care to look). I stepped out of my comfort zone and decided to call this complete stranger. This is not something I'm used to doing. In fact I've found Facebook to be so amazing for me getting contacts and arranging to show people the business that I can count one one hand how many times I've had to pick up the phone and actually speak to someone. 

But I felt confident in my abilities. I'd been advised on how to go about it by my fantastic team and you know what, I thought what is the worst that could happen? They say no thanks and hang up? My New Year mentality isn't about making excuses, but getting stuck in and doing something!

Anyway...how did it go? Better than I could have hoped for. After asking her if she was able to chat for 5 minutes, our conversation ran away with itself and after 29 minutes I ended the call with an appointment with her booked in for next week. I felt pretty happy and continued to organise myself for the week ahead. 

I think Christmas and New Year, whilst good, felt very strange. To not have anything in particular to do. No messages to send. No meetings to attend. No real tasks. I felt a bit lost. Prior to Christmas I was so stupidly busy that I had got so used to the fast-paced, coffee to go lifestyle. It was normal to not have a minute where my phone wasn't buzzing, and finding time to watch Hollyoaks on catchup a real mission! 

But then it just stopped. Stood still. Hence my 'Fringe' discovery. 

I suppose it is nice to have some downtime sometimes but I think perhaps a day or two for me would have sufficed. My Dad hit the nail on the head when he called it 'Crimbo limbo'. The days between Christmas and New Year did very much feel like I was in limbo. I hated not having any real purpose! 

Thankfully New Year did eventually happen and I could resume some activity within my business. I'm now pleased that is tomorrow isn't far away and I can get back on track with everything. Sure the alarm is going to kill me. I've become somewhat nocturnal lately and it's highly unlikely I'll be able to get to sleep quickly tonight. But my bodyclock will adjust. Thankfully it doesn't take long to switch back. 

Another important change next week is that my weekend begins on Thursday evening. Working a 4-day week rather than the standard 5 is going be such a help! My theory in teaching is that full-time actually means life and part-time actually equates to full-time. But aside from that it has been tough juggling a new business around such a full-on job. I did it and managed but long-term it just might have killed me! 

Having Friday's to do with as I wish will be magical. It hasn't actually sunk in properly yet. How amazing it is going to be knowing I've nearly finished my week on Wednesday. TGIF can go swivel it's all about TGIT lol...not quite the same ring to it ey?

But Fridays are still going to be productive. Sure on occasion I might treat myself to a lie-in, but mostly I'll be starting my day with a good Spin class at 9:30am. In fact I've already booked myself on for this up and coming Friday :) Then I can start my day positively with a great workout and have the rest of the day to do business things, any school work that needs sorting and just spend the time wisely! If by chance I take a nap, well why not! Haha. 

I suppose I better run my bath...my hair is a disgusting mess! First day, first impressions as they say! Wish me luck! :)

X

Clothes Show Live, Promotion, My Birthday, Last Day At Work!

Hey! Apologies that I've been a bit quiet recently. Life has been mental. But 100% in the BEST way! So here's a combined post of lots of brilliant things all rolled into one. 

7th December: Clothes Show Live. I love this event at NEC Birmingham and try to go each year. This year I went with my sister. Fabulous fashion show!

And really amazing shopping experience this year. Below are my purchases :D

13th December: Telford Internationale Business Center. Phenomenal day of training and hearing from the top people in the business. I also got recognised for my promotion to Supervisor. 

Later that evening I attended a champagne reception, before getting ready for a Glam Rock Party. A yummy 3 course meal, fantastic party and a nice stay in a nearby hotel. I do love this business lots! 

And at 12:01 that night I turned 25! 

14th December: Happy birthday to me. 

I awoke in the lovely hotel, untangled my back combed hair and headed off for a full English breakfast with some of my favourite people in the business!

At lunch time I met my ex Uni housemates for Xmas dinner. 

I really appreciated the comfy slippers 2 of them bought me, after such a fun weekend in heels! ;)

I also received lots of other nice birthday gifts but have failed on the photo front!

19th December: My last day at work!

It was difficult to say goodbye to the little cuties I've come to care about very much. But I know they'll be fine and it's the right thing for me to be moving on. 

I've never been quite so excited about January before. "New year fresh start" often gets banted about but this time it's true. Things aren't going to the same. I wanted change so badly and now I've made that happen. Here's to celebrating. 

Me and my best friend Gina last night at a Christmas party :) <3

Link me in!

Hello! So I'm working on my networking, new business and all, and I've just joined Linked In.

I'd appreciate any adds on there from yourself if you're apart of it, or alternatively why not check it out?!

Cheers me dears! :)

x

Halloween, Promotion && New Baby!

Hey! So if you've been following my recent posts you'll know I've been having the best time just lately. And things just keep getting better! I'm going to ignore the little feeling that's saying "things are going a bit too well", and enjoy it!

Sooo...Halloween! Let me tell you...I LOVE this holiday. It's my favourite actually. I'm a huge horror, blood, guts, and gore fan (as long as it's the fake kind that is!). So I definitely HAD to dress up.

After last year's Halloween Dorothy and Zombie 'Boot-Camper' (I did a fitness class as a zombie lol)...

...This year I went with Zombie Prom Queen :)

I went out with some friends and had a really good night :) There were some absolutely brilliant costumes and I loved seeing everyone's efforts!! It was also a great opportunity to celebrate my new job and earlier in the day....

...I got promoted in my business!! 

I worked really hard in the month of October to climb to the Supervisor position in my new business. If you bare in mind that I only started mid-August time, you'll appreciate the feeling of achievement I have! If you would like to have a nosey at what the business is and maybe look at earning an extra income like me, then please check out my website here for more information.

And then if a promotion and a Halloween night out wasn't enough in one day, my sister went into labour around 4pm! After a gruelling 19-ish hours...

...today baby Brooke was born! Weighing a mere 5lbs 14oz. (and that's 2 weeks late aswell!) I am one proud Auntie! I don't think the picture does her teeny tiny size justice but believe me she is itzy bitzy and super cute!!! 

I'm literally struggling at the moment to stop beaming like a fool. 

How has your week been? Any good Halloween pics? :)

x

A perfect Sunday to a perfect week.

Hey... Can I just say how nice it was to have the clocks go back and gain an hour. Sure many would have spent it in bed but I got up early and got a few jobs done. I also woke up thinking wow, what a great week! :)

In case you missed it, see earlier post, I got a new job last week and I'm still beaming about it. As you can see I did have some celebratory chocolates (from my lovely mum) but I've devoured the lot as they're my absolute faves!

So Sunday was a great way to end a great week. I headed off to sunny or not so sunny Skegness to visit one of my best friends. It was a pretty steady drive down. I've loved driving ever since I got my Mini Cooper Automatic and I love singing along to my iPod :)

Arriving at Abi's, we decided to hit the shops...After my retail therapy the day before, I wasn't quite done with the spending it seemed! I picked up the above shoe/boots and considered them a bargain! Very comfy!

Later we went to the cinema to see the very long titled PG comedy film. It was actually really good. Worth a watch for sure! Of course no cinema trip is complete for me without popcorn and an ice blast. YUM.

We got back to the best Sunday roast :D Her mum is a great cook! And then chilled with a film- 'The Heat'. The more I watch that film, the more I love it.

As the title suggests, it really was a perfect Sunday to a perfect week.

x

I got a job!

Hello!

So I'm going to keep this short and sweet because my brain is fried but just to let you all know I GOT A JOB! Literally about 4 hours ago :)

Thank you to everyone who wished me well and shared in the stressful times! It has been a rollacoaster few weeks with school visits, letter writing and interview rejections...but today it all paid off!

Just goes to show that you do get out what you put in, eventually! As if I'm going to have my own little class of 5 year-olds in September!!! Amazing and super exciting :D

Sunday Chat #2: Interview Jitters

Hello. Hope you are all having a nice chilled Sunday! I thought I've have a little type to get out some of my nervous energy, cause quite frankly this is me...

Just to clarify this isn't me but ya know what I mean! 

So tomorrow I have a job interview and not just any job interview, but in fact my first! Yep, in all my 23 years I've never really had a proper interview. I was a waitress for a pub across the street but it was more of an informal  chat with it being my local. Then I worked in a Co-op store, during my year out, but my Dad was the area manager so again...no pressure, only for the store's manager I guess haha! I think he was nervous bless him!

As you may know or have heard...this weekend's been absolutely full of snow for the Nottingham area (and many other places I'm sure). I reckon someone forgot to pass on the message to Mother Nature that it is indeed Spring?!

Anyway...getting snowed in wasn't part of my plan. No, instead I was going to buy a nice smart interview jacket.

This didn't happen. So instead I'm left feeling rather ill prepared in terms of clothing and I'm quite possibly going to be the worst dressed there...in a long-sleeved cream blouse, black trousers and dolly shoes. Oh well. 

As far as everything else goes I guess I'm as sorted as I can be...I have my brief lesson plan, an idea of the types of interview questions I might be asked and oh yeah...calming tablets!

I am my own worst enemy when it comes to nerves. I already have butterflies circling around my belly. Of course they are quite normal and I know they are needed to some extent to perform with adrenalin blah blah...but I get the bad kind.

They've always been a big issue for me. I used to be in a lot of shows, whilst at stage school etc, but nerves got in the way of many performances. I could sing a song perfectly in my bedroom but put me in front of an audience and I'd struggle with my breathing and the notes just wouldn't come out quite right. I'd shake with nervous energy. I could barely control them.

One time I entered a singing competition. I was so nervous all day that I only managed to eat half of a tomato. When it came to performing I was riddled with nerves and they took over my voice in parts...I sounded like a sheep! Sadly the performance was recorded so I had to endure it all over again! Needless to say, I didn't win. The judges said I would have if I hadn't of been so nervous. I was gutted and disappointed in myself.

I did get better with the nerves for some time though and the more practice I got in front of others the better I learned to control them.

I'm hoping that tomorrow, if nothing else, will be good practice! :) Just wish I didn't feel this sick...already haha!